Audio Download

Why is my Drive Gone?

Hey, Mike,

I pray to God you and your family are doing well. I still, to this day, tell myself and God, that the best thing to happen to me was your website, and it is mind boggling how God has given me enough sense to believe this, and I pray he never takes it away. Why has He allowed you to do this? To me it seems so easy. But then again, so difficult. Oh boy, I’m probably making no sense. You are not what I expected, Mike, which shows the lack of knowledge I had (have?) in scripture.

So this is why I write: About 8-9 months ago I lost my excess weight, and I was driven, dedicated, and I knew exactly what I had to do to be healthy. I was enjoying playing basketball again, and I was good at it again. My confidence was up and productivity at work was off the charts, getting awards and ranking high. I told myself (probably my first mistake) that I would never allow “myself” to go back to the way I was. Well, 25 pounds later and many poor feedback points at work later, and I’m well on my way back to my old ways. But, there was a reason this is happening, right? I fell. I failed. But with purpose, I hope. This is what I tell myself.

But my weight isn’t my real concern here nor my job. I was dedicated, I even went to Atlanta to visit you on a hunch, on a whim, after reading your material for only 2-3 weeks (one of the best decisions of my whole life). But I knew you were a man of God, Mike. You were the answer to all my prayers regarding God’s truth. But despite my prayers now, my drive is gone, my dedication, and I haven’t a clue what to do! Today I noticed I had not read your FAQs in about 2 weeks, I remember when I used to refresh your site every 5 minutes waiting for the next one! I haven’t opened scripture in months. And when I talk about God people look at me weird now because I’m no longer “religious”. But yet I believe, just like I still believe I can lose weight again and perform well at work, it all seems parallel, occurring at the same time even, obviously not a coincidence. My drive for all of them is diminishing.

I’m sorry my email is becoming so long, and I know you are busy and don’t have time to read my details of my issues, but please, if you have a chance, answer me this: What drives you? If I believe, why can’t I act like it? I’ve snoozed my Sunday 11 a. m. alarm every week for two months instead of joining in fellowship at the bible studies. Why do I do this? Logging in and listening to likeminded people should be easy. We crossed paths for a reason, Mike. My fear is that the reason is because I am just a vessel of dishonor or else I’m here to lead others to God but miss the mark myself. I don’t want to miss the mark. Sorry again for the long email. If you don’t respond it is ok, I just needed someone to talk to.

R____

Hi R____,

It is good to hear from you again even if it is under these conditions. Believe it or not, we are often closest to God when we feel the farthest away. The prodigal son had no clue how far from his Father he was as His Father was giving him his inheritance to go out and squander it in “riotous living.” He was actually much closer to his Father when “he came to himself” and saw his own reflection in the slop troughs of the swine he was feeding for a stranger, after he had wasted his inheritance.

You and I are that prodigal son, and we have all wasted our inheritance learning that we really have not known our Father as we thought we did. But the Truth of God’s Word is that we must live that parable. It is a necessary evil that is part of “every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”

Mat 4:4  But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

You say,

You are not what I expected, Mike, which shows the lack of knowledge I had (have?) in scripture.

I am very grateful for any part that I have been used by our Father to play in bringing you to know Him and His Son. I am grateful for every kind word you have written in this e- mail. That is why we who keep this site going, do what we do. It is very rewarding to receive a letter like this, regardless of what you may have thought I would be. All of God’s prophets of all time, including Christ and all of His apostles, are just not what the world expects them to be. We all want larger than life leaders, and instead weak, ordinary people is what God gives us in those He chooses as His vessels to do His Word:

1Sa 22:2  And every one [that was] in distress, and every one that [was] in debt, and every one [that was] discontented, gathered themselves unto him; and he became a captain over them: and there were with him about four hundred men.

King David, a type of Christ, at that verse is a perfect description of those who God has chosen to be Christ’s disciples. Here is that same message as we find it in the New Testament:

1Co 1:26  For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, [are called]:
1Co 1:27  But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
1Co 1:28  And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, [yea], and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:

Why has God chosen such “weak… despised” people to do His work? This is why.

1Co 1:29  That no flesh should glory in his presence.

The experience you relate in this email, is common to all people. We all think we are trusting God, even as we trust in our own flesh, Only minutes ago, I heard two separate TV evangelists, telling the poor unsuspecting thousands in their audiences, that it was God’s will that they humble themselves to His service and take up arms for their countries and against evil. How far from God are “the shepherds of Israel!”

Jer 50:6  My people hath been lost sheep: their shepherds have caused them to go astray, they have turned them away [on] the mountains: they have gone from mountain to hill, they have forgotten their restingplace.

Eze 34:2  Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?
Eze 34:3  Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: [but] ye feed not the flock.
Eze 34:4  The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up [that which was] broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.

God has been merciful to you, and you can see the Truth of these verses of God’s Word. So as you mature in your walk, your relationship with God and His Son will become far more personal, and you will, in time, begin writing to me and sharing with me the things that God is giving to you directly from His Word. That is what happens in time. Your desire to know and serve God and Christ will, Lord willing, become your whole reason for living. Your job and your physical health will be maintained only to be a better servant in the service of our Lord and His Christ.

You ask:

… Please, if you have a chance, answer me this: what drives you?

What drives me is Christ and His desire to feed His sheep. His desire to ‘strengthen and heal that which is so spiritually sick, and to bind up that which was broken, to bring again that which was driven away, and to seek that which was lost.’ That is what Christ does, and it takes what you are now enduring to recognize all of those conditions which wrack the seven churches of God. Let me assure you that it is a struggle for me just as it is for you, to resist the desire to take a break and let down my guard. I desperately need and covet the prayers of all who know what it is to stand with Christ and His words against all which comes against those words on a daily basis.

God wants you to be one of His Saviors. That is why He has chosen all who He has chosen and that is what, in time, all of God’s elect will become.

Oba 1:21  And saviours shall come up on mount Zion to judge the mount of Esau; and the kingdom shall be the LORD’S.

Our belief is at the expense of the masses, but it is also for the good of the masses:

Rom 11:30  For as ye in times past have not believed God, yet have now obtained mercy through their unbelief:
Rom 11:31  Even so have these also now not believed, that through your mercy they also may obtain mercy.

When you are being used to change lives, then you are driven to do so by the love of Christ. The fact that you have taken the time to write this e- mail proves that Christ had you to do so.

Eph 1:11  In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

God is not through with you. He is just beginning to show you that you are not the captain of your own soul. That is a very valuable lesson which we must all learn, just as Job had to learn that lesson. Read Job 29, and then read these verses:

Job 40:1 Moreover the LORD answered Job, and said,
Job 40:2 Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him? he that reproveth God, let him answer it.
Job 40:3 Then Job answered the LORD, and said,
Job 40:4 Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth.
Job 40:5 Once have I spoken; but I will not answer: yea, twice; but I will proceed no further.
Job 40:6 Then answered the LORD unto Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
Job 40:7 Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
Job 40:8 Wilt thou also disannul my judgment? wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?

“I am vile… I will proceed no further.” Contrast that with the glowing words with which Job describes himself in chapter 29. This is each of us. This is the “one event” which is common to “all men.”

Ecc 9:2  All things come alike to all: there is one event to the righteous, and to the wicked; to the good and to the clean, and to the unclean; to him that sacrificeth, and to him that sacrificeth not: as is the good, so is the sinner; and he that sweareth, as he that feareth an oath.

Your days and my days are all written in His book, all before any of our days ever existed.

Psa 139:16  Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them. (ASV)

Remember, in your patience you possess your soul.

Luk 21:19  In your patience possess ye your souls.

Be patient and diligent and vigilant and sober. We look forward to having you back with us as the Lord becomes more and more a part of your life, and replaces those things that have “in times past” separated you from “the commonwealth of Israel.”

Your brother in Christ,
Mike