Audio Download

A Mystery Hidden from the Ages and Generations: How Not to be Bitter against One’s Wife and How not to Make a Husband Bitter – Part 4

Who can find a virtuous woman? Pro 31:10

[Study Aired August 5, 2023]

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 

  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them” – Col 3:18,19. 

All young women passionate about the Lord in Babylonian Christianity aspire to be the Proverbs 31 wife, and all young, another-Jesus-centric (2 Cor 11:1) males believe that if they can attain her, they will secure the foundation of a perfect life. Deep in both parties lies disquiet for the unidentifiable complication that dogs their spirit.  A seemingly inevitable disconnection that their peers and the world have proven for thousands of years, yet the nuptials cannot define. Yet, off they go hand in hand to the teary-eyed, overjoyed wedding guests’ farewells.

Sadly, in today’s world, newlyweds are rarely virgins, with the husbands being delighted that their living together arrangements have proven too big a fuss has been made about her seemingly folkloric tardy arousals; she has proven them all wrong! And for now, she has ~ as did Israel in the wilderness.

This scriptural business of his wife having a heart that ‘ensnares and nets’ his libertine freedom certainly doesn’t indicate that she has “hands like bands” over his self-proclaimed steamy liberty. The righteous and respectful husband, at least in the flesh, believes the same.

Exo 19:8 And all the people [Israel, the Lord’s first wife] answered together and said, All that Jehovah has spoken we will do. And Moses returned the words of the people to Jehovah. 

Nonetheless, most young husbands have been educated for the past seventy years yet do not necessarily respect nor fully understand a wife’s much slower boudoir arousals. Despite that, the flush of sensual wedding preparations, the big day and now the honeymoon unwittingly amplifies her every Shulamite sensory allurement for mutual delight.

As time passes, the husband sees little cues of discontent and disdain in his wife’s body language that increase alarmingly for his anytime indulgences of the flesh. He can’t believe that his lovely wife is enacting that harsh term, rejection ~ and she doesn’t seem to care! He’s hit with a tonne of bricks in the flesh, at least when he realises what Solomon meant when he said, “And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her”. (Ecc 7:26)

It is commonly believed that a woman invites intimacy. That is true in every sense of her beautiful sensual self, yet the protocols are utterly back-to-front. Rather, our Lord invites/drags us to his spiritual self, and we, the woman, are given to enthusiastically respond, as exemplified by the Shulamite.

Eph 1:8 Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;
Eph 1:9 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
Eph 1:10 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him: 
Eph 1:11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: 
Eph 1:12 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.

Our lovely ladies in the Body of Christ electrifyingly understand the depth of a wife ruling a husband, as do their husbands, and the stab in both parties’ self-righteous hearts for the “curse” is fading. Our wound is healing, and we look forward to learning outstanding Shulamite daily arousals.

By the Lord’s design, a virtuous wife’s most potent instrument of seduction and power (ironically, she dissolutely craved in the flesh) is every detail of her Christ-authentic self! Christ wants daily to be seduced (Son 4:9) by this beauty, who mirrors his virtuously seductive qualities and is the impetus of mutual arousal and honouring both husbands.

Let’s now see how we can amplify our Lord’s glory that is guaranteed to inflame rebounding arousal for us. The answer for a Babylonian is downright boring; simply keep the commandments with all your heart, and its hidden result is the gift of “kisses”, the holy spirit.

Col 1:26 the mystery which has been hidden from ages and from generations, but now has been revealed to His saints.
Col 1:27 For to them God would make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the nations, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory, 

Joh 14:15 If you love Me, keep My commandments. 
Joh 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, so that He may be with you forever, 
Joh 14:17 the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive because it does not see Him nor know Him. But you know Him, for He dwells with you and shall be in you.
Joh 15:16 You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and ordained you that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatever you shall ask of the Father in My name, He may give it to you.

The Body of Christ, wherever he is in the World, is alone chosen by God to receive the spirit of Christ and his Father. They alone have been given to see all the nuances of how a husband is not to be bitter against his wife, and she in no way causes him to be bitter!

However, the now jaded wife is mostly a disengaged marionette waiting for her sweating, ghoulish husband to learn, <>most un-Shulamite-like, by himself, how to awaken her millions of sensory delights. Five years into marriage, they grow barley-subdued bitterness and frequently divorce. Self-righteous commitment to their mutual shabby understandings guarantees them mourning negatively, ‘all things are yours’ (1 Cor 3:21), and hopefully positively physically and spiritually for the Saints.

The Shulamite’s Terrible Blue Lyrics

And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind. (Rev 4:6. Eze 1:22).

‘Hell has no fury like a woman scorned’ (or sometimes ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’) is usually attributed to the English playwright and poet William Congreve. He wrote these lines in his play [ironically] The Mourning Bride, 1697:

Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d,

Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d. [Quote: The Phrase Finder]

Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Who can find an unscorned, joyfully virtuous woman who has made herself ready?

Christ, of course, is the answer!

Upon understanding the previous three parts of this study and seeing how we are becoming far less that woman from Mt. Agar, it seems almost trite to further examine the Shulamite’s arousals. Yet, rather than merely talk and muse about the Shulamite’s methodology, we must, with Rachel’s bright eyes, walk the talk.

Gal 4:23 But he who was of the bondwoman was born after the flesh; but he of the freewoman was by promise.
Gal 4:24 Which things are an allegory: for these are the two covenants; the one from the mount Sinai, which gendereth to bondage, which is Agar.
Gal 4:25 For this Agar is mount Sinai in Arabia, and answereth to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children. 
Gal 4:26  But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.

The Internet is crammed full of sex therapists’ (Babylonian churches) “how-tos” to fix every intricate detail of broken bedroom intimacies to the volume it runs out of our noses and mostly frustration. Men and women of all ages, ethnicities and spiritual persuasions have their ‘proven’ method of ‘fixing’ the eternal unrighteous disunion of female torpor and male vigour, equal to Agar and Jerusalem above and Queen Vashti, Queen Esther and Amnon’s embarrassing lust (2 Sam 13). None of the worldly fixers of intimacies has the absurdly simple answer, bar the Bride of Christ by her Lord’s hand, to which we are somewhat sorry that it appears ostentatious but delighted that it’s the Lord’s doing.  

Joh 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. 
Joh 15:17 These things I command you, that ye love one another.

The first line in the Song of Solomon states the end from the beginning, “The song of songs, which is Solomon’s” (Son 1:1)

It is her glorious “song of songs” since it holds the master key to the “Mystery Hidden from the Ages and Generations: How Not to Be Bitter against One’s Wife & How Not to Make a Husband Bitter”. It is her, the Bride of Christ’s God-given modus operandi.

Almost all physical, psychological and past sexual abusive complications precipitously decrease by the Shulamite’s methodology guided by her Lord’s spirit. So, let’s begin.

In Babylon, as did Israel, most wives drop the ball soon after marriage and breathe a micro-expressed irritated sigh for their husband’s goal-focused ardour. Christ is also goal-focused with his Bride, yet at a far more leisurely pace ~ something like 2,000 years of Shulamite foreplay.

Long-standing marriages maturing from torrid youthful sexuality doesn’t mean the Lord slackens off with His ardour for His wife. Only weak flesh invariably grows weary, disguising it as maturity. Fleshy maturity is worth nothing if it doesn’t point to its spiritual counterpart, where spiritual ardour takes up the slack.

Joh 6:63 It is the spirit that makes alive, the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit and are life. 

Rev 3:15 I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I would that you were cold or hot. 
Rev 3:16 So because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. 

Like the Shulamite, almost all brides and cute, dreamy, righteous young girls in times past spent months or years preparing for every detail of their marriage. Such a bride doesn’t realise that she is passively and unwittingly arousing her mind for her wedding day, just as we do spiritually daily in the Body’s studies. Upon marriage, and after the first few years, the flush of heated bedroom intimacies subsides, and she becomes more exasperated that her husband hasn’t likewise “matured”. They don’t understand that the husband’s potency (subject to health) reflects the permanency and vigour of Christ and spirit life.

At one hundred years, Abraham sired Isaac (Gen 18) and, in part, reflects the Lord’s undying flame for his wife by washing her with the word, the ultimate “maturity”. 

Joh 8:51 Truly, truly, I say to you, If a man keeps My Word, he shall never see death.

We don’t know if Abraham and Sarah had matured past direct sexual expression; nonetheless, it is an immense relief, particularly for wives, to have limited child-bearing fruitfulness. Yet, maturity is a work of spiritual progress for the Lord’s purpose in us.

Husbands and wives have to stop thinking that “sex” is penetrative intimacies. Wives will irritatedly remark that is what they have been advocating for thousands of years! ~ righteous husbands will equally be miffed for the direct accusation against their bedroom prowess. As Lord willing, we hope to see “sex” as a state of consistent micro-arousals moment by moment, hour by hour and daily that keep us constantly in a state of spiritual arousal that doesn’t have to end in penetration (interestingly, in contemporary terms means discernment; piercing, equivalent to “terrible crystal” clarity). It builds anticipatory tension in a husband to be instant in thought for his wife to delight in coming home to her increasing beauty; it is really that simple.

Col 4:2 Be instant in prayer: watching in it with thanksgiving.
Col 4:3 Praying withal for us also, that God may open unto us a door of speech to speak the mystery of Christ (for which also I am bound): (DRB) 

1Ch 16:9 Sing [the Shulamite song] to Him, sing psalms to Him, talk of all His wondrous works.
1Ch 16:10 Glory in His holy name, let the heart of those who seek Jehovah rejoice. 
1Ch 16:11 Seek Jehovah and His strength; seek His face continually. 
1Ch 16:12 Remember His marvelous works which He had done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth [as the Shulamite amorously did].

For the major part, those moments-by-moment micro-spiritual arousals through immersion in prayer arouse within the mystery of Christ, our Lover. It is not a state of lukewarm.

The Lord designed that blindness until the Shulamite was given the lyrical key to her Song of Songs! She now enthusiastically and unashamedly set about building her house (Pro 14:1). To most Babylonian wives, their wedding night laid the foundation for her home, and she doesn’t have the structural (Lord’s) understanding of how to finish her Temple, neither does her ‘other Jesus’ husband. Their subsequent few years quickly establish bitterness in her husband, who no longer knows how to love his wife, not that he ever did, and she, like Leah, feels rejected and is tearfully bewildered. 

Luk 14:27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me, he cannot be My disciple. 
Luk 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he may have enough to finish it;
Luk 14:29 lest perhaps, after he has laid the foundation and is not able to finish, all those seeing begin to mock him, 

Luk 14:3 saying, This man began to build and was not able to finish.

The primary effect of a wife not having the passion to finish building her house is embedded in the curse of her rulership over her husband.Unconsciously, she wonderfully prepared her mind and body for her wedding night, and in subsequent years, Queen Vashti style (attempted) forced her husband to come to her. Like King Ahasuerus (akh-ash-vay-rosh), he is humiliated by her rulership over his headship and becomes bitter for her Laodocean spirit. She, marionette-like, now expects him to work enchantment on her mind and body, just as the 40,000 wives of Babylonian Christianity lay limp before their workers of magic arts, plucking her strings and breathlessly singing their song of lies to tingle her ears.

To physically and spiritually refuse to come at our husband’s behest to see our arousing beauty will result in Esther taking our place. 

Rev 18:23 And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.

One of the doctrines that the Lord’s wife will be ruling with the rod of iron in the One Thousand Year rulership of her “young women” (and men) is how to love their husbands, and he, her. Unlike the Shulamite, to their endless frustration and ironic “bitterness”, both parties will be forced to sustain submission and be under rulership.

Eze 1:22 And the likeness of the firmament upon the heads of the living creature was as the colour of the terrible^H3372 crystal, stretched forth over their heads above.

Noah and his family, upon exiting the Ark, were the first humans to ever see the vast blue sky of the firmament above; from Eden to this point in time, mist and clouds obscured the entire sky. Now, the sun shone like lightning in the pure atmosphere in a setting of sapphire blue. The site from the mountains of Ararat was breathtakingly “terrible” [H3372 – 1. to fear, revere, be afraid a. (Qal) 1. to fear, be afraid 2. to stand in awe of, be awed 3. to fear, reverence, honour, respect] It all represents Christ the sun/Son sitting in his heavenly throne for the coming terrible clarity of his word in our heavens. Our understanding will become reverently clear as crystal and utterly free from the clouds of darkness that covered the understanding of our former selves represented as the Egyptians, Old Jerusalem and the Israelites in the wilderness, and Babylon (Exo 14:19,20)

The Shulamite was equally “black” and thus hidden from Solomon’s understanding, yet she saw her Lord’s ravishings of her in trembling awe, honour and respect in the crystal clarity of understanding. She now perfectly understands how to arouse her naturally inherent morbidity of excitement for her Lord’s word.

The “we” in the following verse is the Shulamite’s 1,000 sisters, Solomon’s figurative Babylonian Christian wives all running after a different Jesus, and only the Shulamite sees with terrible crystal clarity.

Son 1:4 Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.
Son 1:5 I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
Son 1:6 Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun [Christ] hath looked upon me: my mother’s children [Old Israel and today, Babylon] were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept [her Lord is the keeper of her vineyard bringing forth his fruit from her following much pruning and dunging].

“The Shulamite’s Terrible Blue Lyrics” methodology is to plan daily cunningly skilful seductions. In the flesh, her God-designed beautiful femininity is perfectly designed to sexually arouse her husband; it faultlessly aligns with the Bride’s daily spiritual arousals that her Lord is ravished to be equally “sick of love” (Son 2:4)

The terrible crystal is a type of Rev 4:1 After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter. Solomon desperately tried to look behind his understanding of the Shulamite, Return, Return, Return that we may look upon you without success. Conversely, Job, like the Shulamite, was given to look behind him and have their eyes opened to their respective “terrible crystal” understandings.

Out of all the women and wives ever to exist, only the Bride of Christ leaves behind the sexual and spiritual contrivances more bitter than death that Saul, Jonathan, and Solomon knew in the flesh that a woman could never suppress the reliable love of another man, in the reality of Christ.

Ecc 7:27 Behold, this have I found, saith the preacher, counting one by one, to find out the account:
Ecc 7:28 Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found. 

2Sa 1:23 Saul and Jonathan were lovely and pleasant in their lives, and in their death they were not divided: they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. 
2Sa 1:24 Ye daughters of Israel, weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet, with other delights, who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel. 
2Sa 1:25 How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! O Jonathan, thou wast slain in thine high places.
2Sa 1:26 I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.
2Sa 1:27 How are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished!

We have gone full circle: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee” (Son 1:2-3). 

Luk 4:4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word [every Shulamite-received kiss] of God.

The Shulamite has “reversed the curse” physically and spiritually at her Lord’s hand. She has seen how not to make a husband bitter in terrible blue crystal clarity. She enthusiastically uses her immensely seductive and glorious femininity first by dwelling on skilful micro-intensities of physically awakening her husband (absurdly easy!) to keep his mind on her. In doing that, she automatically and semi-consciously awakens and prepares her body and mind ~ spiritually, the process is precisely the same!

She IS the one “man” without “many inventions” (Ecc7:29) among 1,000 awakened in perfect clarity by her methodology.

Rev 19:6 And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth. 
Rev 19:7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. 
Rev 19:8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.

She has attained her body’s most powerful indirect rulership for (not over) her Husband’s glory.

That is the pure simplicity of not making a carnal and spiritual man/Christ bitter against his wife and ALL to her glory in Him.

Her price is far above rubies!