Hi Mike, Sorry for the late return.  It has been somewhat hectic here.  Thank you so much for sending me these scriptures.  I love all the scriptures, but I must say, at this particular time, these bring much comfort.  I have read them all many times, but I have been studying the Old Testament of late and haven’t read them for a while.  I have always found parts of the ‘Old’ difficult to get through because of all the killing and slaughtering, but there is much to be gleaned from those pages.  They truly are for our admonition. Very recently, actually in between our last emails, I had cause to go to my employer’s offices (I generally work from my house).  I ran into a co- worker there who is going through some very difficult times of his own.  I felt doubly bad for him, because I can certainly understand what he is going through, however, from his words, I could see that he saw no purpose in his suffering – only the suffering, only bitterness.  I had a thought similar to something you said in this letter.  What a gift!  How fortunate I am.  I have been graced with the ability to see purpose in my suffering.  I know why I must suffer.  I know the Lord will give us the strength to endure our trials and I have come to believe that this is how He gives us strength to endure.  A word here, a thought there, maybe something visual, all pointing toward a purpose.  Little things through the course of a day reminding me that through the trials, through the sufferings, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is the glory that Paul speaks of in Rom 8:18.   ‘Chief of sinners’?  Yes, I see myself in that way.  I had a conversation with a friend a while back, around the time of the release of the movie, “The Passion of the Christ”.  My friend took the view that the Jews were responsible for the crucifixion of Christ.  I shook my head and he was surprised and asked me if I thought it was the Romans.  I asked him if he knew what the death of Christ accomplished.  What was its purpose?  I asked him, do you know why Christ is the lamb of God?  He finally said Christ died on the cross to forgive sins.  I asked him, whose sins.  And he got it – everyone’s.  So I told him he just answered his own question.  If Christ died on the cross to forgive the sins of the world through all generations, then everyone who has ever sinned through all generations is the reason for His death.  He died to save us.  His was the valuable blood spilled in sacrifice.  It was not only the Jews or the Romans or even Judas Iscariot who killed Christ… it was all of us.  And this Mike is why I see myself as chief of sinners.  Christ died, in part, because of me, to save me.   I know when Paul coined that phrase he was thinking of the followers of Christ that he executed, but to me, the true reason he was chief of sinners is that Christ died, in part, for Paul and this knowledge and understanding converted Saul.  And Paul says as much:         Gal 2:20  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.      And so,  if ‘chief of sinners’ for my part in Christ’s death, then also for the death of the prophets by extension, for what did they foretell, but the coming of the Messiah.  We killed the prophets as surely as as we killed the Christ.  Pontius Pilate washed his hands, but we choose to admit our guilt and be chastised as sons and not remain in denial as bondservants.  For this, we shall see the glory of Christ revealed in us, if we endure to the end.  So I continue on in my trials and I raise my head and ask for forgiveness for not always finding joy in my tribulations.  But I tell you Mike, I get a sense of great anticipation thinking about how the Lord will carry me through.  I think my wife thinks I’m a little crazy, because I often seem excited to see what is next.  I find my faith is strongest when darkness seems to be all around me.  And my prayer is to never fall to the darkness, but to always walk in the light.  I am driven by the hope offered by the words of Paul, who is one ‘chief of sinners’ among billions.  1 Co 6:2 Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases?       1 Co 6:3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!        1 Co 11:31 But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment.       1 Co 11:32 When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world.  Your Brother in Christ, J____

What a wonderful witness! God has given to you the gift of being able to rejoice in your trials and to be thankful to be counted worthy to suffer with Christ.

I especially appreciated the phrase you used, “Paul, who is one ‘chief of sinners’ among billions.” According to Christ, if we see ourselves as “chief of sinners” we will love God more, and that is exactly the humble attitude we must all develop if we are given the grace to realize that all men must “live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”

Yes,  it really is exciting just to witness how God delivers us out of our trials. He never fails, and it actually seems impossible at times.

We truly are blessed of all men to know God and Jesus Christ.

Your brother in Christ,

Mike