Hi.

I have been going through a lot over the past year. I was born a Catholic, and my mom, after going through some rough times, didn’t believe in Christ anymore. I grew up not knowing if Christ existed. Sometimes I thought it was a made up story. Sometimes I didn’t know if he did or didn’t exist. My mom had always told me that if I read the New Testament that I would have bad luck the rest of my life; that the New Testament was not of God.

I always had faith in God. I always knew that I didn’t have free will. Things that I wanted to do, I couldn’t do. I would get so upset if I went a day without speaking to God. I cried to him about everything bad that happened to me.

Last year I went through some really bad times, and I always looked to the Bible for understanding. This time I read the New Testament. When I got to just the middle of Matthew, I cried to God and told him to forgive me that I didn’t know. After that, I went online everyday to find out facts about Christ and about evolution and creation. I just wanted to know more and more about God. I couldn’t just be satisfied just knowing that Christ died for us. I knew from a young child that I was different. I always felt a closeness to God. After I believed in Christ, I still had doubts that I had to overcome. After so many years of hearing that Christ didn’t exist, it was difficult. I knew that the words that came from Christ couldn’t come from anywhere else than God.

I had told my mom that even if she didn’t believe that Christ is who he said he is, how could she not believe the words he spoke. How intelligent he was for that time. I just knew the word was of God… Since then, I have been growing so fast in Christ that I am shocked. I read how so many people spend years in the Christian churches believing in their interpretations of what they think the Bible says.

Well, I spent about two weeks in a Christian church, thank God for that. I started going to church and worshiping with people, and I knew something was wrong; I didn’t feel right. They were casting out demons and telling me the devil this and the devil that and that I had the free will I chose to go to God. It was going against everything I thought God was. I was so scared to think I was in charge.

Well two weeks ago, or it could have been three weeks, I stumbled upon this web site. I knew I was home. Now I understood. I understood so fast. I remember after being on the site until 4 in the morning I was so happy and free. I am having such a hard time with everyone around me. Everyone is saying I’m crazy and obsessed with God, because that is all I talk about all the time. My mom had told me that I had my chance with God and I blew it, because of Jesus. It has been a real struggle the past two months or so since I have read this site. One of my friends told me, why are you still searching? Isn’t it enough that you found Christ? That’s all you need to know, and I told her no. I want to know him more, nothing is ever enough when it comes to God. My children understand me. They find truth in the things I tell them, and that I am happy for. I have been told that I am crazy and stupid to think that God controls everything by the man that I am with. He told me that telling my kids that whatever happens to them and choices they make and how they live their lives is totally up to God.

I feel very alone, and it is hard being in a world that you see so differently than others. It’s hard to put up with things that people say to me. It’s hard when my own mom tells people that I am her enemy. The only thing I miss is having a mother. That’s the only hard part, but I have God, and there isn’t anything that can replace that. How do I deal with people saying hurtful things to me, and what do I do about Christmas with my kids? I am having a hard time with this and what to tell them. Another thing, do you know of anyone in the New York area that believes the same. I would love to speak to someone with a like mind.

Thank you so much

J____

Hi J____,

Thank you for sharing your story with me. God is definitely working His work in you as He is in all things. Reading till four in the morning is an indication that you are hungry for God’s Word. I appreciate your enthusiasm and zeal, and I appreciate your willingness to acknowledge God’s sovereignty in all things. That is nothing less than the first step to kicking the beast off the throne which so rightfully belongs to Christ. Your answer to your friend is true for anyone in whom Christ truly dwells. As you told her: “I want to know him more; nothing is ever enough when it comes to God.”

How true that is. We will never know too much about the depth of the love of God, and the wisdom of God in doing His work as He sees fit here on this earth. With that fact firmly in mind, let us get to your questions.

You ask:

How do I deal with people saying hurtful things to me and what do I do about Christmas with my kids I am having a hard time with this and what to tell them. I would love to speak to someone with a like mind.

First let me just say that we should be careful never to “cast our pearls before swine.” A principle that helps us to know when we should witness for Christ is:

1Pe 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

We “sanctify the Lord God in our hearts” when we live lives that reflect His presence within us. The fact that we are told to “be ready to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you…” suggests that some one first asked a question.

But you should never expect orthodox Christians to receive you with the truth that you have. That was never meant to be. You can do nothing to keep those of this world from hating ‘Christ in you.’

Joh 15:20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
Joh 15:21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name’s sake, because they know not him that sent me.

Our attitude in this case should be that of the apostles after being imprisoned for their witness to willing recipients:

Act 5:16 There came also a multitude [ out] of the cities round about unto Jerusalem, bringing sick folks, and them which were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed every one.
Act 5:17 Then the high priest rose up, and all they that were with him, (which is the sect of the Sadducees,) and were filled with indignation,
Act 5:18 And laid their hands on the apostles, and put them in the common prison.
Act 5:41 And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.

“Enduring to the end” is a grace that is given to but a few. Ask God for that grace, then be prepared to “endure” it.

What do I do about Christmas with my kids? I am having a hard time with this and what to tell them.

I am not going to tell you what you should say to your children about Christmas other than to say what you should do in any other circumstance. You should educate yourself on any subject about which you might have a question. You ought never, under any circumstance, lie to your children or to anyone. When you educate yourself, then educate your children. When you are honest with your children, they will appreciate that honesty. It may not be what they want, but they will still respect you for your integrity.

There is no such thing as a ‘white lie.’ Every lie, no matter how harmless it seems, is as black as the night.

If I ever do find out about some one from your area, I will put them in touch with you, if they so desire. In the meantime, please feel free to e- mail me about any thing you might want to discuss. You will at least have that fellowship.

I hope this is of some help and comfort to you. God has a very good and loving reason for all of our trials. He will finish the work He has begun in you.

Mike