Hi!

One thing that’s felt like a knife through my heart every time it comes up, is the way women are spoken about in the churches. Many times I’ve felt like “God, if this is the way it’s supposed to be, I don’t wanna marry!!”
I’m sick of being seen as “lower” than the man, not as close to God as him, not able to be used as much as him! Why?? I don’t understand! Ever since I was a child I’ve been scared of talking in front of a crowd, but still I’ve always had a dream that I once would. I’m not as afraid of it as I used to be, and I believe some of it is because this dream inside of me kept me going, something about it said “You can!” And I’ve always felt that this was a dream God had put in my heart. It felt like he believed in me, when I couldn’t! And now you tell me that God says it’s not the way he wants it to be! I don’t understand! I’ve had a picture inside of me that I would sing (my biggest interest is music) and preach in front of thousands of people, that God would use me that way. So now I get very shocked that the bible says that it’s not right! I don’t understand anything anymore, the church is so screwed up, feels like all the things I thought I knew is a big fat lie!! I’m so angry it feels like I’m about to explode, not only because of this thing with us women, but a lot of things! Some of those things I’ve read about here, like the stuff about the lake of fire. What you say is something I’ve never heard before, but somehow it makes sense to me. And what I heard really spoke to me.
Anyway. Why? Aren’t women good enough? I thought I had gotten enough of that crap in the world, already have feelings of less worth! I’m so sick of it! So that’s really what God says? That women can’t preach, or we’re not allowed, but if we’re able to then why aren’t we allowed? Then it’s no use for us to have a mouth and a heart for people! Why do I feel called? I have a hard time to believe that I made this up, since I’ve pushed it away so many times since it scared me so much, but the dream keeps knocking at my heart. I don’t get it! Why miss out on the capacity of half of mankind?? What a waste! That’s my opinion, but on the other hand, I’m not allowed to think, right? My only assignment in this life is to be submitted to my husband, do what ever he tells me, be a good housewife, and be a treasure to my husband = be a beautiful silent statue with no brain!! Or what?? I just won’t do it!! I’m crying when I’m writing this because I feel so frustrated and hurt, can anybody just tell me why? Why is this “the way to be”? Nobody has the answer! “That’s just the way it is.” No, that ain’t good enough for me, I need an answer! God, I just don’t get it! Why? I don’t see any reason whatsoever!

Tit 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

WHAT???? Man this really hurts to read!
1Co 14:34 the women must keep silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak out, but must place themselves in submission, as the law also says.

WHY??? I wanna know why!
I’m a young, hurt and angry woman. Please answer if you can!

J____

Hi J____,

Thank you for your question.
There once was a man who felt the same way you do at one time. I am speaking of Joseph, of course. Joseph, like all of us, could not see why he was sold into Egyptian slavery. Like you Joseph had been given dreams – in his case dreams of rulership. Then, as a confirmation of those dreams, his father gave him a coat of many colors. But from the very moment he had been given dreams of rulership, his life took a steep downward spiral which gradually ended in what typifies death in scripture. Thirteen years after being promised rulership over his brothers, Joseph found himself still in a prison in Egypt.
You call death, rulership? (prison = death- Isa 24:22) It just didn’t make any sense! But Joseph never gave up on his dreams which he had been given. Joseph, who was sold into Egyptian slavery by his own brothers for twenty pieces of silver, typifies Christ. And Christ’s flesh, too, could not see how death would lead to rulership:

Mat 26:39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
Mat 26:42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done .
Mar 14:35 And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.
Mar 14:36 And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

Christ’s flesh was as ordinary as yours and mine. It was as subject to corruption as is yours or mine. And Christ’s 33 year old flesh was not relishing the idea of dying at that young age. But His Father in Him knew that he had to resist the pull of His corruptible flesh. He knew that His flesh could not inherit the kingdom, and He knew that He must relinquish His flesh in order to rule with His Father.
You have dreamed of leadership. That leadership can be yours, but only if you have this “not my will but thine be done” attitude. Christ tells us that “in the resurrection there is neither male nor female.”

Mat 22:29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.
Mat 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
Mar 12:24 And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?
Mar 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
Luk 20:34 And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:
Luk 20:35 But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:

What you say about being made to feel inferior to men is indeed an evil that has taken hold on many men who claim to know Christ. The truth is that women are not in any way inferior to men in the eyes of God. But the invisible things of God are understood by the things that are made, and the things that are made make it abundantly clear that women were not made for the same purpose as men. The things that are made demonstrate the Truth that “the man was not made for the woman, but the woman for the man.” What this tells us about “the invisible things of God” is that God was not made for Christ, but Christ for God. I have recently been asked “Where is Christ ever referred to as a woman?” It is a lack of spiritual understanding to even pose such a question. 1Co 11 tells us that the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ. So while Christ is God’s son He is also God’s submissive wife. Here is what Christ has to say about His relationship with His Father:

Joh 14:10 Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.

Every word Christ spoke was spoken because His Father told Him to speak it. Did this make Christ feel like a robot? If He had a self willed attitude it would have done just that. But with the desire to please His Father as a wife would want to please her husband, Christ was very pleased to say what His Father told Him to say.
I am like you and Moses. I have never enjoyed public speaking. But, like Moses I have been brought to see that God uses those who seem the least qualified to accomplish the most. What qualifies God’s elect for being of service to Him is the very fact that they are not capable of doing anything of themselves.

Joh 15:5 I am the vine, ye [ are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

It is only “in Christ” that we can do anything for Christ. Christ is His Word, and His Word is Him. So while the scriptures make it plain that God is no respecter of persons, the scriptures are also very clear when it comes to the roles of men and women. And God has ordained that “half of the world’s population,” as you put it, is not to be teachers and preachers “in the church.”
Women are not to be, as you characterize them, “a beautiful silent statue with no brain!!” Is that what we are in relation to Christ? Is that what Christ is in relation to His Father? And yet that is what the marriage relationship is supposed to reflect – Christ’s relationship to God.
If it is proper for the father to be taught by Christ, then women should be preachers and teachers. If Christ should be the head of His father, or His husband, then women should be the heads of houses, the leaders in churches and have their husbands in subjection.
But that is not what Christ teaches us through “the things that are made.” What He does teach us is that each of us is a part of His body and that He has placed us where He wants us. There is so very much that women are commissioned to do which the very fabric of our modern feminist society despises as being inferior to men. I can do nothing more than tell you that this is a lie of the Adversary. You are not inferior because you are not to preach and teach, any more than I am inferior to the person who hires me to work on their home. I am thankful for each job God sees fit to give me. I hope to be working for a woman this next week. And I will do all in my power to please her with my labors. I do not feel in any way inferior to her because God has seen fit to put her over me as my boss for a few days. And so it is with women in this life. Yes, that is over simplified, but it is a fact that in the resurrection, there will be no marrying or giving in marriage. Women will be rewarded according to what they have done with the ‘talents’ and the ‘pounds’ God has given them just as men will. But we will all be rewarded according to whether we were “poor and of a contrite spirit and trembled at the word of God.”

Isa 66:2 For all those [ things] hath mine hand made, and all those [ things] have been, saith the LORD: but to this [ man] will I look, [ even] to [ him that is] poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

You ask:

So that’s really what God says? That women can’t preach, or we’re not allowed, but if we’re able to then why aren’t we allowed? Then it’s no use for us to have a mouth and a heart for people! Why do I feel called?

There is nothing I can say that will satisfy you if you have your mind made up about God’s Word before you even read it. Here is how God deals with that mindset:

Eze 14:1 Then came certain of the elders of Israel unto me, and sat before me.
Eze 14:2 And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
Eze 14:3 Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their heart [ These men had come to God’s priest Ezekiel to seek God’s will. But they already had their minds made up as to what they were going to do. God calls this ‘idols of the heart’] and put the stumblingblock of their iniquity [ self will] before their face: should I be inquired of at all by them?
Eze 14:4 Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumblingblock of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the LORD will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols;
Eze 14:5 That I may take the house of Israel in their own heart, because they are all estranged from me through their idols.
Eze 14:6 Therefore say unto the house of Israel, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Repent, and turn yourselves from your idols; and turn away your faces from all your abominations.
Eze 14:7 For every one of the house of Israel, or of the stranger that sojourneth in Israel, which separateth himself from me, and setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumblingblock of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to a prophet to inquire of him concerning me; I the LORD will answer him by myself:

But notice how God answers a person who comes to His word with his mind already made up:

Eze 14:8 And I will set my face against that man, and will make him a sign and a proverb, and I will cut him off from the midst of my people; and ye shall know that I am the LORD.
Eze 14:9 And if the prophet be deceived when he hath spoken a thing, I the LORD have deceived that prophet, and I will stretch out my hand upon him, and will destroy him from the midst of my people Israel.

If some dream or spirit or “feeling” is telling you that you are called to preach and teach when the word of God says that “a bishop must be the husband of one wife”, then you are listening to an “evil spirit from the Lord.” If you put this ‘feeling’ ahead of God’s word the He will answer you “according to the multitude of your idols of your heart.” Your argument is not with anyone but God. You can indeed rule if you are willing to wait on God. Be patient. Realize that “this life is but a vapor which appears for a moment and then passes away.” Take on the mind of Christ which says “not my will but what thou wilt.” Do this and you will stand before thousands and sing and rule.

Hi J____,

Mike has asked me to add some to what he has been telling you concerning woman’s ‘place’ in the scheme of things from God’s point of view. That’s God’s – not some chauvinist preacher’s viewpoint. Can we agree that we are each placed in the body of Christ as it pleases God to place us?

1Co 12:18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

Okay, taking it literally, let’s say my foot decided it wanted to be doing the typing here instead of hiding in a pair of shoes. Poor feet; they are not at all an attractive part of the body no matter how we slather them with lotion or paint the nails. So no one ever sees them. BUT just let the body try getting along without them. They carry us through life putting up with tight shoes, ill- fitting socks, stubbed toes, things dropped on them, etc. Just because they would say “I’ve had enough” doesn’t mean they should be allowed near the keyboard. And the rest of the body might have something to say about the attempt! Granted, this is a humorous attempt to prove a point. Taking it a step further, the feet are ruled by the head, so the head won’t allow them to do a job for which they are not not intended.
As spiritual minded parts of the body of Christ, we should be subject to our Father’s will, want to learn our part in the body and DO IT to the fullest ability of Christ in us! Yes, there are some women who would be better at speaking and teaching than some men, but that it NOT their function in the body. It doesn’t mean they are less able or less worthy or less anything in God’s eyes – just that they have a different function. Let’s face it, not all men are able to preach and teach either.

1Co 12:27 Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
1Co 12:28 And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.
1Co 12:29 Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?

So, should those men who might have a stutter or be mute or just not have the knowledge and understanding to be a teacher feel badly because they are not doing that? Of course not! GOD has set us where we are to be. And he planned it out for each one of us before creation!! He knows me. He knows you and everyone of the other billions of people that HE planned to put on this earth.

Eph 1:4 even as, in His love, He chose us as His own in Christ before the creation of the world, that we might be holy and without blemish in His presence.

It’s the ‘submit’ thing isn’t it? Yeah, I know it. It used to gall me, too. But that was before my understanding was opened to what I have told you above. And before I learned that as the old covenant with Israel was only a type of the spiritual covenant God has since made with us, so the physical marriage is only (because we are human) an imperfect type of the god- head relationship. God is not concerned with whether you are a man or woman when it comes to worshiping and obeying Him.

Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

So just as you shouldn’t be made to feel inferior because (God’s choice) you were born female, so no man should feel superior because (again by God’s choice) he was born with external plumbing. I am well aware that many men, though they may not say so, they act it, feel that women are to submit to men. That is simply a misapplication of scripture. Women DO NOT submit to men! BUT wives should be submissive to their own husbands. And ideally even then it is not a case of a husband saying ‘do this, do that’, but a loving relationship, where open discussion is engaged and if there is a difference of application of an idea, the husband has the final word. Why? Because God says so. No other reason. Not a question of smarts, strength, whatever; just by God’s beforeordained placement.
And just because a woman is not placed in the body of Christ to preach to a church, doesn’t mean she is granted by God the privilege of only being a beautiful silent statue with no brain. As a (slightly) older woman now, I am admonished in scripture to carry out many directives.

Tit 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Tit 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Tit 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Know this, that I feel the full weight of this responsibility. And teaching the young women is not easy in itself. Young wives have a hard time receiving the message of being ‘discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to their own husbands.’ But I have this responsibility as my part in the body of Christ to do it! What if a young woman is not married? There’s still the ‘sober, discreet, chaste, good’ part of it which is a BIG thing.

1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [2Ti 2:16 But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness. 2Ti 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.]
1Pe 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1Pe 3:4 But let it be the hidden man (Greek – anthropos – human being, not referring to the sex of the individual) of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Believe me, it takes more strength for a woman to submit to a husband believing his decision is wrong, than it does to bully, belittle or refuse to submit. But God’s reward for such character and strength (which I’m here to tell you takes the spirit of Christ living in you to successfully perform) is equal to that any godly man receives. Many godly women lead full lives, happy lives, living life to the full but as godly examples without getting married. Paul pointed out that the marriage state in the flesh was not a perfect union.

1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such (the married ones) shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

It’s not men or women who will be ruling with Christ, but ‘new creatures’ (2Co 5:17) who have endured to the end, overcoming their own weaknesses of the flesh, growing in grace and knowledge, humbling themselves before God, that will receive this highest reward.
May God bless your understanding, Sandi (Mike’s wife)