Mike,

Quick question: if you can clarify the meaning for me on Ephsians 5:33. The word translated reverence is Strong’s 5399– phobeomai. That word is always translated as fear or afraid. I can see why the translators had difficulty translating this verse as fear since the Scriptures teach to ‘fear no man’ and to ‘reverence no man’, but reverence is easier for a wife to accept than fear. I know we are to ‘Fear God’ and ‘work out our salvation with fear and trembling’, but practically speaking a wife who has a Godly husband who is loving her as Christ admonishes would never ‘fear’ her husband/ her head (outwardly – or be afraid. Any insight would be helpful.
Thanks,
M____
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless [ the end result of the verses 25 until this one] let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Hi M____,

Thank you for your question about why Eph 5:33 would tell a woman to fear her husband.

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

You are exactly right when you say:

I know we are to ‘Fear God’ and ‘work out our salvation with fear and trembling’, but practically speaking a wife who has a Godly husband who is loving her as Christ admonishes would never ‘fear’ her husband/ her head (outwardly) – or be afraid.

But we are all Christ’s wife, men and women alike, so why should we fear our husband who is our head, Christ? It is only when we disobey God and we are disobeying His Word, which is Christ, that we really do need to “fear God”.
I think you know that I make no pretense of being either a Greek or Hebrew scholar. What I do profess to do is to apply the principle of “the sum of thy Word is Truth” to every question and to every situation, including this one.

Psa 119:160 The sum of thy word is truth; And every one of thy righteous ordinances endureth for ever. (ASV)

So relying on this principle, the answer to your question can be found in Rom 13 where we see this Greek word, ‘phobeo’, and its root, phobos’, used together. Notice the instructions we are given here.

Rom 13:3 For rulers are not a terror [ G5401, phobos] to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid [ G5399, phobeo] of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:
Rom 13:4 For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid [ G5399, phobeo]; f or he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.

The principle involved in fearing to disobey “the powers that be” is the same principle involved in our relationship to our physical wives being instructed to “reverence” or “fear” or “be afraid” of us as decent, loving and godly husbands. It is the very same principle involved when we are instructed to “fear God” which includes our spiritual husband, Christ.
Christ is a “ruler”, so it is not at all “adding to the Word” to say that “[ Christ] is not a terror [ G5401, phobos] to good works, but [ He certainly is a terror] to the evil. Will [ we] not then be afraid [ G5399, phobeo] of the power? do that which is good and your shall have praise of the same”.
When we obey God we have nothing to fear. But when we fail to do so we have much to fear. We are told exactly that:

Heb 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
Heb 10:27 But a certain fearful [ G5398, phoberos, from the exact same root, G5401] looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

When we oppose Christ, we are His adversary. That is why Christ called Peter, “Satan”. Peter was opposing Christ, and at that moment was in a position to be looking for “a certain fearful… judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries”.
This all sounds so cataclysmic to our natural man. But as is always the case, that which sounds so very negative of the words which “proceed out of the mouth of God”, is the very thing that brings us back to our heavenly Father, and in that process destroys “our father the devil” within us. It is very painful, and it is very humiliating, but it is the best thing that can happen to us spiritually:

Mat 16:21 From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.
Mat 16:22 Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.
Mat 16:23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

Mark adds the words “and looked on His disciples”, which includes them all in Christ’s rebuke of Peter:

Mar 8:31 And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.
Mar 8:32 And he spake that saying openly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him.
Mar 8:33 But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

Therefore, because “man… shall live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” the words:

Heb 10:27 But a certain fearful [ G5398, phoberos, from the exact same root, G5401] looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

… apply to all Christian husbands as well as all Christian women. But if we “do good… [ we shall] have praise of the same”.
The words:

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

… apply to every godly man as much as they do to every godly wife, because Paul has just told us in the verse immediately preceding verse 33 that everything he has just said is actually concerning “Christ and the church”.

Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

So if “we are His flesh and His bones” and if we are His “one flesh”, then a wife who is afraid to disobey her godly husband is being obedient to him “as unto Christ”, as she is instructed.

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

In conclusion, both husbands and wives must submit themselves to Christ and His doctrines, and both must reverence or be afraid to disobey those doctrines, and commandments.
The phrase “fear God” appears ten times in the Bible according to e- sword. I will not quote them all, but I will quote the four found in the New Testament, just to demonstrate the fact that we are indeed to fear to disobey our Lord:

Luk 23:40 But the other [ thief on the cross] answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
Act 13:16 Then Paul stood up, and beckoning with his hand said, Men of Israel, and ye that fear God, give audience.
1Pe 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
Rev 14:7 Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.

There is one verse which contains the words “fearing God”.

Col 3:22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:

It is clear from all these verses that the “fear” we are instructed to have toward God is the same fear wives are to have toward their husbands. No one needs to fear a loving heavenly Father when we are obeying His Word, which ‘Word’ is our Husband, Christ. It is when we disobey Him that we have nothing to look forward to but ‘a fiery judgment’ such as Peter and all the apostles faced, after denying their Lord, and fleeing from Him in His time of need. For doing this we all must “go out and weep bitterly” as the fiery Words of our Lord are ringing in our ears and are judging us.
I hope this has given you some insight on this question of wives being afraid of their husbands. No one needs to fear when they are possessed of “perfect love” which is “obeying God and keeping His commandments”.

1Jn 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

What is “perfect love”? This is what it is. It is defined in the very next chapter:

1Jn 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1Jn 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

So below my letter is every entry in the New Testament according to Esword for this Greek word which the translators chose to translate as “reverence” in Eph 5:23

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

You say, “Any insight would be helpful”, so I hope this has given you some insight into why we need to “fear God” and why a wife needs to “be afraid” of her husband, who in the final analysis, Paul says, is Christ Himself, typified by her physical husband.
This admonition for wives to reverence their husbands is really just an admonition for all of us to fear to disobey Christ and His Word and His doctrines.
Your brother in Christ,
Mike
Below is all the entries for the two words we have discussed. I have cut and pasted this from e- sword.
I will first give their meaning, and then all the entries for that word in the New Testament:

G5399
φοβεω
phobeo
fob- eh’- o
From G5401; to frighten, that is, (passively) to be alarmed; by analogy to be in awe of, that is, revere: – be (+ sore) afraid, fear (exceedingly), reverence.
Notice that this Greek word translated “reverence” in Eph 5:33
G5399
φοβεω
phobeo
Total KJV Occurrences: 93
fear, 35
Mat_1:20, Mat_10:26, Mat_10:28 (2), Mat_10:31, Mat_21:26, Mat_28:5, Luk_1:13, Luk_1:30, Luk_1:50, Luk_5:10 (2), Luk_8:50, Luk_12:5 (3), Luk_12:7, Luk_12:32, Luk_18:4, Luk_23:40, Act_13:15-16 (2), Act_27:24, Rom_11:20, 2Co_11:3, 2Co_12:20, Heb_4:1, Heb_13:6, 1Pe_2:17, Rev_1:17, Rev_2:10, Rev_11:18, Rev_14:7, Rev_19:4-5 (2)
afraid, 29
Mat_2:22, Mat_14:27, Mat_14:30, Mat_17:6-7 (2), Mat_25:25, Mat_28:10, Mar_5:15, Mar_5:36, Mar_6:50, Mar_10:32 (2), Luk_2:8-9 (2), Luk_8:25, Luk_8:35, Luk_12:4, Joh_6:19-20 (2), Joh_19:8, Act_9:26, Act_18:9, Act_22:29, Rom_13:3-4 (2), Gal_4:11, Heb_11:23, 1Pe_3:6, 1Pe_3:14
feared, 18
Mat_14:5, Mat_21:46, Mat_27:54, Mar_4:41, Mar_6:20, Mar_11:18, Mar_11:32, Mar_12:12, Luk_9:34, Luk_9:45, Luk_18:2, Luk_19:21, Luk_20:19, Luk_22:2, Joh_9:22, Act_5:26, Act_10:2, Act_16:38
fearing, 6
Mar_5:33, Act_27:17, Act_27:29, Gal_2:12, Col_3:22, Heb_11:27
feareth, 4
Act_10:22, Act_10:35, Act_13:26, 1Jn_4:18
reverence, 1
Eph_5:33
G5401
φοβος
phobos
fob’- os
From a primary φεβομαι phebomai (to be put in fear); alarm or fright: – be afraid, + exceedingly, fear, terror.
G5401
φοβος
phobos
Total KJV Occurrences: 47
fear, 41
Mat_14:26, Mat_28:4, Mat_28:8, Luk_1:12, Luk_1:65, Luk_5:26, Luk_7:16, Luk_8:37, Luk_21:26, Joh_7:13, Joh_19:38, Joh_20:19, Act_2:43, Act_5:5, Act_5:11, Act_9:31, Rom_3:17-18 (2), Rom_8:15, Rom_13:7 (2), 1Co_2:3, 2Co_7:1, 2Co_7:11, 2Co_7:15, Eph_5:21, Eph_6:5, Phi_2:12, 1Ti_5:20, Heb_2:15, 1Pe_2:17-18 (2), 1Pe_3:2, 1Pe_3:15, 1Jn_4:18 (3), Jdg_1:23, Rev_11:11, Rev_18:10, Rev_18:15
terror, 3
Rom_13:3, 2Co_5:11, 1Pe_3:14
exceedingly, 1
Mar_4:41
feared, 1
Mar_4:41 (2)
fears, 1
2Co_7:5