Hi Mike, et. al:

Thank you for the time, energy, and hard work you all put into the iswasandwillbe.com site. I continue to be challenged and edified by your material.

My question is two-fold:

1) Is it scriptural to ask for a raise at work?
2)  My husband keeps urging me to ask for more money.

Some background:

I make a well-above-average hourly rate, and we are debt-free. We are in our most productive years financially, and we continue to build on what we already have. My husband has been at the same job for 30 years, and is so frustrated with his working environment that he’s contemplating quitting. He’s unsure of what to do next, but the safety and comfort he’s had in this job for three decades has made him complacent about looking for something else.

The issue:

I feel very blessed AND content with where we are. I also know that it is the LORD our God who has given us the ability to produce wealth, and as long as we seek Him, he will make us prosper (in His time and His season). Am I disobeying my husband by not asking for more money? Is this truly a burden that should be on my husband’s shoulders?

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Blessings abound,

D____

Hi D____,

There is nothing wrong with asking for a raise if you truly feel you are not being properly remunerated for your skills and your contribution to your company or your boss. This principle applies under such circumstance:

Mat 20:13  But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?

If you agreed to a certain salary or a certain hourly wage for an agreed upon production, then this is what the scriptures tell us:

Luk 3:14  And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages. 

We are to be grateful for what we have been given by God, even in trying circumstances:

Psa 107:18  Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.
Psa 107:19  Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.
Psa 107:20  He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
Psa 107:21  Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
Psa 107:22  And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing. 

Here is an admonition which few can receive, and yet it is very Godly advice:

1Ti 6:6  But godliness with contentment is great gain. 
1Ti 6:7  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
1Ti 6:8  And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 

If indeed you need to make more money, there would be nothing Biblically wrong with asking your boss to give you more work so you would have a larger check. But to seek a raise for the sole purpose of covering the loss of income from your husband is no reason for your employer to give you a raise. Your financial well-being is not your employer’s concern. If you are not content with your wages, then go somewhere else and seek employment, unless, as I said above, your employer is not living up to the agreed upon wages.

All I have to go on is what you have told me, and based upon what you have said, you are rewarded well for what you are doing, and it would not be ethical to ask for more simply so your husband can retire.

What he could do, if he is tired of working where he presently works, is to send out some resumes and find another job, then give his present employer a two-week’s notice and move on with life.

So to answer your question directly, yes, “This is truly a burden that should be on (your) husband’s shoulders.”

The scriptures place the provisions for the family upon the shoulders of the husband:

1Ti 5:8  But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

There are couples in which the wife makes double the wages of the husband, and if the wife can maintain the humility to be “subject to [her] husband” while still going to work and bringing home a handsome paycheck, then there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of the wife’s superior earning power for the welfare of the family, but that is a very hard thing for any woman to do.

Eph 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head [and provider] of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Eve’s curse was not that her desire would be ‘to’ her husband; rather the Hebrew for the word ‘êl‘ translated as ‘to’, is much better translated as ‘against’ your husband’, and it is so translated in this verse in the very next chapter:

Gen 4:8  And Cain told Abel his brother. And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against [Hebrew: ‘êl‘ H413] Abel his brother, and slew him.

Gen 3:16  Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to [Hebrew: ‘êl‘ H413] thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

It would be doubly difficult to be the provider for the family and be submissive and subject to your husband. Nevertheless, if you can be subject to your husband while still providing for him financially, there is nothing wrong with a woman making more money than a man. It just simply is not ideal.

I hope these scriptures serve to give you some guidance to see what is the mind of Christ as it regards your situation.

Your brother in Christ,

Mike