Hello Mike,

Very good article on Samson’s riddle.
I am very concerned with my spiritual battle. I was raised a Methodist but left church when I left home. I was an atheist/ agnostic for the longest time. To sum it up, my sins (sins I forgot about) manifested in the real world.
I’ve repented to God and Christ and those I wronged. I still feel there is an evil spirit keeping me down. But I’m not as afraid as I was because of my relationship with God.
I’m not worthy of his love. I relate to the lepers, the sinners, the philistines, the Baal worshipers, the dregs. How do I get past this tribulation that I am going through? It’s like I’m broken and too scared to move on because of the experiences. It’s like I was self- gratifying with everything and God struck me down.
Any advice would be great.

B____

Hi B____,

I am very happy to know that you were edified by the writing on Samson’s riddle.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. To be perfectly honest with you, while the details are different, you story sounds exactly like the very same story of coming face to face with God’s judgment that everyone in our fellowship has experienced. We have all been where you are because God has brought us all there.
We have been going through the book of Job for several months now, and you would get a lot out of reading this series of studies. Job’s friends looked down on Job because God was judging Job but not them. It is so easy to see a brother suffer and to wonder, like the Pharisee, ‘ I wonder what that person did that was so wrong that God has afflicted them.’

Luk 18:11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
Luk 18:12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
Luk 18:13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.

But look at what Christ tells us about His estimation of these two men:

Luk 18:14 I tell you, this man [ the publican] went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

The truth is that those who are being afflicted could very well be facing judgment now instead of facing it later in the lake of fire:

1Pe 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
1Pe 4:13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
1Pe 4:17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?

James tells us the same thing:

Jas 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Jas 1:3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
Jas 1:4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

You tell me:

I’m not worthy of his love. I relate to the lepers, the sinners, the philistines, the Baal worshipers, the dregs.

Based on these words alone I would dare say that you are probably the closest to God at this very moment than at any time in your life. You are, by your own words, the very person Christ came to save, the lost sheep, the prodigal son and the blind and diseased in body and in spirit.

Mat 9:12 But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.

You are enduring these trials not just for your own benefit. You are being prepared to be a blessing and a comfort to others who will be going through the same trials you are now enduring:

2Co 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2Co 1:5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
2Co 1:6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
2Co 1:7 And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.

That is the reason for your sufferings, “that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”
We must all first be where you now are by God’s design before He will come to us and deliver us from that bondage.

Psa 107:21 Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
Psa 107:22 And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing.
Psa 107:23 They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
Psa 107:24 These see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep.
Psa 107:25 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.
Psa 107:26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
Psa 107:27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits’ end.
Psa 107:28 Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
Psa 107:29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Psa 107:30 Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.
Psa 107:31 Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

Any of that sound familiar? Have you ever been brought “to [ your] wits’ end”? I certainly have. And it was not until I said ‘Father I give up. Whatever you want is what will be, because I can do nothing but sin.’
You ask me:

How do I get past this tribulation that I am going through. It’s like I’m broken and too scared to move on because of the experiences.

The answer is that there is nothing you can do of yourself. God is working in your life, and He is dealing with you in His love:

Heb 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

This happens to “every son whom He receives”. There is not one exception. So just know that there is a very great reason, purpose and reward for simply enduring the chastening of your loving heavenly Father. Put your hand on your mouth before you continue questioning, contending with and condemning God Himself for what He has done and is doing in your life.
I will be praying for you with fervent prayer. Please stay in touch, and let me know if I can be of any help to you. You are in my fervent prayers that God will bring you to your desired haven of the peace of mind that is to be had when Christ abides within you, and you can be at rest in Him.

Your brother in Christ,
Mike